Hell is a not a bad place!!
A man dies and due to his evil and sinful life, goes to hell. The devil himself meets him at the gates of hell and tells him, "I don't know what all you've heard up there, but hell isn't all that bad a place. Let me ask you, do you like to smoke?"
The man answers, "Yes, I do" "Oh, good then," the devil says, "You'll LOVE Mondays. Every Monday we all sit around and smoke cigarettes, cigars, pipes, try out new types of tobacco. Do you like to drink?"
The man answers, "Yeah, sure, I like to drink."
The devil says, "Good, you'll love Tuesdays, then. All we do on Tuesdays is sit around and drink beer, wine, and all kinds of different mixed drinks.""You'll just love Tuesdays. Do you like to swear?" "Sure," says the man, "I swear a lot." "Great then. You'll love Wednesdays."
The devil says, "On Wednesdays, all we do is sit around and swear a lot, we try to make up new cuss words, and have a great time, you'll just love Wednesdays." "Oh, by the way," asks the devil, "Are you gay?" "Hell no," the man replies, "I hate faggs!" The devil look at him, and says, "Then you're gonna hate Thursdays."
Indian Hell
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told," First they put you in an electric chair foran hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. Hechecks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the Germanhell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a longline of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devilcomes in and beats you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chairdoes not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a Software Engineer, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the Cafeteria!!! !! !
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